The Ripple Effect

The heinous murder of Jan Roseboro led to the discovery of the affair between her husband and Angela Funk.
The story doesn't end there. No story like this ever could.
People have been devastated by the death of Jan.
People have been devastated by the affair between Mike Roseboro and Angie Funk.
Friends have discovered how badly they have been lied to and betrayed. Coworkers are now fully aware of why it seemed Angie always had to leave early or be excused for an appointment. Many wonder why it's ok that she used the company computer for clearly personal reasons, i.e. her emails to Mike and his to her.
The investigation prior to the trial led some husbands and wives to learn about things they had no idea of prior to the tragedy.
And in some cases, this was the icing on the cake.
Some have come forward from years past, to tell what they know or witnessed in the past with Angie. They still harbor anger and hurt.
There is destruction because of all that has gone on for many years.
There is even more devastation due to the affair and the murder trial.
It's clear that several people are still in denial.
Those that have finally admitted to themselves that they were used and lied to by Angie surely must know that feeling. Some very good and loving people held out for as long as they could, trying with all their might to believe her, to find an honest basis for her character and behavior.
They learned that their trust and faith was misplaced. And with heavy hearts they had to walk away.
That is the only way you can survive caring for a true Narcissist. You have to cut all ties and walk away. If you don't, the cost is unbelievable. The cost is "you".
To remain in any kind of quasi relationship with a Narcissist, you have to get real with yourself.
You have to admit that they are empty shells, devoid of empathy or the ability to love. They have no identity.
So you must lower your expectations to zero. You cannot expect to get any normal return of emotion or character from them. If you do, you will be crushed.
They will take from you with total abandon, oftentimes holding something you value over your head to make you "walk the line" with them.
For some, that seems to be the way they are dealing with all of this.
If they just let it all go, and make no demands of Angie, and have no expectations of her (the normal expectations we all have from fellow human beings to love, have compassion, empathy, remorse) they can be allowed to be in her world.
If they don't she will either banish them or take away something they cherish.
Everyone that has loved or dealt with a Narcissist deals with two levels of grief.
They deal with the realization the Narcissist really does not love them in any true sense. They are incapable.
And they also have to mourn the loss of a relationship with the Narcissist that they "believed" existed. The Narcissist isn't the person they believed them to be, hence additional grief.
It takes incredible inner strength to deal with a Narcissist. It hurts. Badly.
And for some, they just want to pretend all is well with the world. And for them, that is the only way they can survive and face another day. The alternative is too daunting.
So they make excuses for the Narcissist, allow them to run ripshod over everyone and everything.
But it gets them from today to tomorrow.
Others rage against the Narcissist when they clearly see how the others are apparently fooled by the Narcissist. They are frustrated by the false show and the way some eat it up.
It's the Emporer's new clothes syndrome.
But these folks see that the Emporer is naked. And ugly.
And they want the others to see that too.
The murder and the affair can't be separated.
Nor can you part out the ripple effect this has had on people all over the county.
It's what we've been told about for a year now.
Pain and devastation, everywhere she goes.
There's no stopping that. But those who are dealing with the aftermath now have to face a decision. They can either continue to rail against the injustice or they can save themselves and just walk away.
It's a serious decision.